Waiting for the dentist today - just a check-up, though a root canal seems imminent - you could clearly hear the screams of drills from all the exam rooms, endlessly drilling. Dear Dentist, please put a sound-proof door between the lobby and the rooms where the real torture happens because by the time I was lead back, I was shaking like a leaf. No one likes the dentist but due to never having dental insurance for prolonged stretches of time, I always associate the dentist with trauma and thus hate the dentist. I've never just had a regular old cleaning but that is my goal one day.

Speaking of drama, I'm watching the most beautiful and disturbing doc at the moment Manufactured Landscapes about the photographer Edward Burtynsky, focusing primarily on his work in China. It's spare and frightening and beautiful. Netflix has it and I so recommend it. If you like shots of "e-waste" and factories with thousands of workers in them, like I do. I got it from my workplace of course. I love unfettered access to the DVD collection. This morning, under the guise of learning the ins and outs of all our AV equipment, I watched a newly acquired Frderick Wiseman film, my king and hero in the documentary department, the man who I would most likely seriously consider kissing his feet if asked, "Juvenile Court". Every shot is a winner, almost every scene brought me to tears. Amaaaazing.

Speaking of documentaries, this weekend we are doing some interviewing on tape for our Radio Ephemera project and I can feel my insides resisting the experience - the moment I pull other people into my vision, ask if I can interview them, explain the project, I get so worried and nervous that I want to chuck the project. It's such a responsibility. Hi, I'm a stranger and I want your sad story for my own purposes. Can I? Thanks. I fail over and over because I get to that point where others must be asked and let in and updated and kept apprised and shared with and I still can't do that comfortably. Fiction is such a goddmaned relief sometime. Too bad I fail at that too.