Lets ignore the fact that I have an 12-jillion page list of URGENT things to do and people to talk to shall we? If I could have a nice therapist fix one thing about me it would be not letting EVERYTHING go once I let one ball drop. It's kind of like I drop one egg and then smash the rest on purpose, shrugging my shoulders. Whoops! Over and over and over. Currently I owe explanations for undone work to two bosses and one professor. I owe emails to two more bosses. I am so far behind on one assignment it is mind-blowing, something that hasn't happened to me yet in Grad School. I am wondering idly if I may fail this required Stats class which would be very bad.
But here's the thing. I've just spent the last two weeks, day in and out, with my kid. And everything else has kind of gone out the window. We were walking to pick up our CSA yesterday and I was thinking how primeval it was: child rearing and food gathering. The basics of life. I'm watching the Planet Earth series right now and it's all hunting, being devoured or mating. Feeding or F***ing, as I like to say as yet another scene of a pair of ducks mating or a leopard rips into some poor herbivore before my eyes. Anyway, it is much more fun now. So much more fun! She helps me cook and watches intently as I grate things, trots the egg shells to the garbage, sniffs spices, tries things. We walked through the forest looking for different textures and colors of leaves. She reads books to herself and sings her ABC's. Maybe I'm creating too cozy of a picture but thems the facts. As I struggle to really invest myself in a paper about digital literacy or my work assignments, a little part of my brain kinda wishes I could just do this for awhile. Not owe a soul an email but walk through the forest looking for leaves with my kid.
Or maybe I'm just procrastinating.