I'm taking a day off to recover from my vacation, which should tip you off to how relaxing vacations are these days. I am also catching up on boatloads of homework, so many readings and a bunch of laundry, and cleaning off the thin layer of juice and spoiled milk that coats EVERYTHING in my life. I don't give a damn about diapers, I want my kid to be able to sensibly drink from a cup and banish leaking, smelly sippy cups forever. Also, I could do without milk and the way it spoils, sticks and stains. Looking back, babies feel like a piece of cake. Toddler-hood is everything they promised and more - pushing limits, temper tantrums, independence and frustration, defiance...we got it all. And on a trip, keeping things sane and clean and organized is so impossible, despite two 40-pound suitcases for a 5 day trip (Much of that weight was suits and shoes for formal events, but still...)
Sometimes when we are doing things the way we have always done them, sans baby, you have to question the wisdom of maintaining that lifestyle. For example, we flew into Boston and decided to save some cash and take the T to our hotel instead of a taxi. Which involved schlepping our suitcases, the stroller, the two huge carry-ons and our baby to a shuttle bus which took us to a subway, which took us to another subway that we transferred on to and finally up some stairs and streets to our hotel. (By the way, if you're in a wheelchair in Boston, I have no idea how you do it, seriously. That town is not built for strollers, or rolling suitcases for that matter. ) This is a plan which makes perfect sense when childless and carrying overnight bags and I was grateful to be around the T, trust me, but halfway through it occurred to me to try and make things simpler. Why not lessen the stress and save it for her night screaming episodes instead? A friend at the wedding we went to asked how it was different travelling with a kid and I said "you HAVE to get a nice hotel room, or a semi-decent one, because after 8 pm, that hotel room is IT and trying to keep milk fresh in a tiny ice bucket or bathe your kid in shower makes life pretty lame. back in the day, the hotel room was just to crash in - now it's the most important part". But our hotel was right downtown which led to a day long walk around Boston and to Harvard and back with some of the prettiest brownstones I've ever seen.

The train to Maine was perfect, quick and pleasant with quaint villages and leaves turning color - it was so Americana I could hardly believe it. Now I know where all the images come from. Kenebunkport was a funny kind of place, all "Whimsy Shops" and saltwater taffy and a median tourist age of 58 - which is not my scene at all. But we found a slightly grittier edge in Portland and the surrounding areas and I'd like to see more of Maine itself - it seemed beautiful, I just couldn't handle the kitsch. (Although the mosquitos, holy jebus, they drilled right through my wool tights at an indoor function). Being in Kenebunkport, of course we made jokes about Bush Senior and his love for the place - and he made an appearance. The wedding ceremony was outside by the waterway and it was a beautiful day after days of drizzle and the ceremony was lovely and the bride was all glowy - and behind us, on the channel comes GB Sr.'s boat. I saw Barbara's white afro with my own eyes - and right behind it, the black Secret Service boat. Then they went by again the other way. I caught it on film to show the bride and groom who are two raging Dems to prove the were waved to by Bush Sr. during their wedding. Also, what is the deal with having your Secret Service boat stenciled with "SECRET SERVICE", for that belies the Secret part, does it not?
But we had a lovely time, tears were shed, dances were danced, too much wine was drunk, which led to Total Toddler Destruction of our room in the morning when we didn't want to get up at 6 am and let her walk around with crackers and watch the Cartoon Network for the first time in her life. Don't think crackers can make much of a mess? Ha, then you were not the one down on her knees in a hangover fog scrubbing the carpet. Don't ask me about what happened when she found the courtesy can of V8. Housekeeping, I apologize, profusely.

I also ate a lobster roll which has been an abiding fantasy of mine. And I didn't eat my lobster at the rehearsal dinner because cracking a crustacean apart is a grisly venture and no matter how polite I tried to be about not wanting to eat the meat that was shaped like a claw after I pried it out of the ectoskeleton as google eyes on stalks watched me do it - no one understood. I realize that eating a lobster roll is just as horrific, only someone else did the hard work for me and dolloped some mayo on it for good measure - but I am a woman of contradictions.

I also managed to have a HUGE blow-up with the AH pre-wedding. Nerves were taut, tempers were frayed etc. etc. but for months he had been telling me the wedding was at 12 pm. MONTHS! I do not double check the invitation or do my own planning as this is his family and their event. We get up and wrangle us all to get ready by 11 am so we can check out and be on time for the wedding. Imagine my surprise when we pull up and see friends and family lounging about in their street clothes and find out that the wedding is in fact at 2 pm and no one else is even ready yet and I have to stay looking good AND keep my baby looking neat and presentable for 2.5 hours in a parking lot and a hotel lobby. Ha ha ha. I just can't effectively parent in red wedge espadrilles and red lipstick near open bodies of water that my kid wants to hurl herself into. I was kinda mad for the misinformation and the subsequent scramble (we were checking into a new hotel and the new room wouldn't be available until 3 so there was nowhere to go) and indeed my make-up hardly looked picture perfect 4 hours after I applied it. He did not understand why I was mad and I got into the patriarchy of the fact that I had to look very nice and make sure he looked very nice (Including having to buy him a lint roller, iron his shirt and say NO, you don't wear sweat socks with a suit and pick out his tie) and in general be so goddamned wifey about it all but guess what ?? People notice if you take some care with your appearance - or if you don't - if you see them every 2 years or so. And they've never met your daughter and you don't want them to meet her with yogurt dribbled down her dress. And in retrospect I should have been more relaxed about it, but a simple "Well you always look great to me" would have sufficed nicely but did not come and thus the blow-up. But weddings have a way of reminding you that you kinda promised to be kind to each other always and it's like a mini-vow renewal for me each time I go to one.

Now we actually need a vacation alone for a day or two and I'm dead serious. If we do not get this soon, I fear for our collective sanity. My eyes literally mist when I hear of grandparents and aunts and uncles looking after kids for a night or a weekend - they're welling up right now! If you have such a gift, use it. And think of me. Because I don't know if I'll make it to her 2nd birthday without something similar.