We found a place to live so I am pleased not to be homeless in 30 days. You know when you put down your deposit money on a place and suddenly all your starry-eyed plans seem silly and all you can think of are the possible problems? Yeah, that's where I am at. This house hunting I realized I was ridiculously spoiled and ruined by having a kid - two bedrooms were okay but a third would be nice (office/craft room/guest room), one bathroom was good but man, it's sure nice to have two to keep one just for those nightly baths and visitors to the house. I've never had a dishwasher before this house - and now it seems pretty indispensable, what with the constant toddler mess. We own a front loading washer and brand new dryer - so the house has to have connections for them. The more you get used - the more you need. It's hard to trade down. But the selling point for me was the kitchen - the kitchen is by far the most important room in the house to me. I prefer it to be eat-in - no actually I NEED it to be eat-in - I hate dining rooms. I need it to be light - facing east is the best. I can't be a line of cupboards and appliances, those sad apartment where the kitchen is 8x8 and a little strip of tile. I like this kitchen, the way it opens on to a deck too, so I gambled on the house as a whole. Packing again, lord. In the interim I am fighting off the persistent, pushy realtors who try to invade my house daily. Our landlord sent an e-mail apologizing for this when we gave notice - but he also gave a sob story about how hard the real estate game is and how he had to get a real job and I am a jerk and could only think about how I had to find somewhere new and more expensive and move all my stuff and rehook up every utility known to man. He then sent out a joyous message about how it sold on Friday. I guess it was good that we were so damned proactive then…I keep having fits of sadness about someone else doing dishes and looking out my window, the tub where my kid has her nightly bath, our HOUSE that I guess was never really ours. Excuse me for obsessing but I’ve never had to leave a house against my will before and it’s painful.

Yesterday we went to a wedding, AH’s co-worker, and I had pressed and pressed him for details about it because the invitation was merely circulated around his work and I couldn’t get any sense of how the wedding would be. This is how it was: Ceremony at 4 o’clock in a African Methodist Episcopal Church, where we sat in a back row and I watched the 15 minute ceremony that was word for word every TV and movie ceremony you’ve ever seen (“no man place asunder” etc etc) and then – it was over. There was a receiving line to shake their hands and they said thanks for coming and that was it. Everyone left. No cake, no glass of punch, no dancing, no buffet, no moment to mingle with everyone else. It was the weirdest thing EVER. By 5 oc’clock were the fanciest dressed people at Bullock’s BBQ with a glass of icy sweet tea and a plate of hush puppies. So odd. I didn’t feel so bad about only getting them a toaster.