Just a little now...
Success and lack thereof plague me all the time now, but at this exact moment I feel very successful. My daughter is asleep. Or quiet, anyway. She is usually the Queen of Sleepers, bed right at 7 pm, no crying, up at 6:30-7:00 am. But tonight, after AH went to bowling, she woke up howling at 8:30. We don't usually run right in for crying - we are those dreaded strict cry it out parents. But there was something extra in her cry tonight, she just needed something. Me, maybe. I sat in her rocking chair with her for an hour. I took her outside to sit on the porch and watch the thunderstorm and sing "Goodnight Irene" in her ear under the paper patio lanterns. I fed her some Liberte yogurt. I broke all the rules and all our routines. Partially because, though I had things to do for work, I did not, for once, have homework. So I could give her more of my time. Partially so she would know that my wish for her is to know that I am 100% on her side.
These are the two hardest things about being a Mom so far:
1. How best to show love
2. Knowing you are responsible for memories. The smell of your lotion, what dinner you make on Christmas Eve, the time she let you get out of bed to watch the thunderstorm in your footie pyjamas in her lap.
Which is why, sometimes, I break the rules.