For the first time in eight bajillion years (more or less) I am happy. It has been a rough week or month or something - like just feeling like a completely failure and intellectual deadweight, reinforced by losing both conference application scholarships I applied for this week, like not even coming close, and ouch ouch ouch, I'm used to winning but I'm surrounded by all these ivy-leaguer double Masters people and I feel dumb. And did I mention, keep LOSING! Ouch. My good buddy fellow intern told me this morning that she never wants to be an academic librarian because of all the competition and pressure and I was so happy to hear someone else acknowledge that my peers are insanely competitive - over a job recommending sources and research techniques for a rather low salary, considering. Failey failure, right here. Also, my kids has been grumpy and a terrible eater. Also, life just seemed super ultra flat, like grey and flat and the fucking every minute coverage of the "financial meltdown" and the one way street bi-partisanship was making my brain melt.
But today I taught three classes in a row and got that special teaching rush, and my kid and my partner were waiting right on the front steps of my work when I was done, when we picked up cold beer and coffee beans for the morning and at home sauted greens in garlic and siracha and ate mounds of it with the aforementioned cold beer and I had the longest, hottest shower of my life and am now in the comfiest clothing, with full belly and asleep baby and happy husband and damn, it feels so good to feel good, you know?
My weekend wish for you is the same feeling.