January Blues increase frequency of blogging, according to my informal study of uh - me. Actually, at the risk of talking too much about plumbing to y'all, it's not so much January Blues although it certainly does not help that it is cold and grey (and I will aside here once more to proclaim loud and joyfully about the PROGRAMMABLE THERMOSTAT which is surely the best human invention because now that I have figured it out and set it to turn on at 4 pm every day, I always, always come home to a toasty warm home without too much energy wastefulness) but since having Simone, the old reproduction cycles have ratcheted up a big old notch. I have always always had depression around my period but now ovulation is this whole second period of pain of the physical and the mental kind. Diet and exercise abuse (see yesterdays dinner menu) certainly don't help. It is always the most frustrating thing in the world though, to feel sad and kinda hopeless and know it is just hormones and not be able to do anything about it anyway but live through it, seeing through a grey cloudy lens for a few days. I still felt limp and sad this morning which was just so - argh. I shuffled off to school and finally a blast of Blitzen Trapper playing "Furr" six times in a row at top volume on my iPod worked wonders. Self, do not ever forget the power of eating meals, bike rides and a kick drum coming in at just the right moment. (For a class I'm doing all this research on video responses on Youtube and you know, if you look up the above mentioned song you will find home video of people in their bedrooms playing covers on autoharps and guitars and like - just putting it out there - here's me in my bedroom covering someones song. Watch and rate me. it's so odd, really it is.)
Besides the plumbing, I constantly, constantly wonder and worry about my Job Futures after Grad School. By the way, how did you know where you wanted to live? We go round and round and round and round on this issue, once again wondering where we'll be in two years. AH desperately wants to get back to the West Coast, which would be nice and I would like to reward him for his patient stint in NC for the sake of my dreams and ambitions. but there just aren't that many jobs for me out there and there is no way I'm going to go through all of this and then end up working at a goddamned coffee shop again. So we were discussing this for the 90 billionth time and I was trying to gently explain that we may have to live somewhere East Coasty for awhile, because your first job is pretty important. And though he rarely gets mad, AH exploded "You and your damned useless East Coast only degree!" I was really pissed off for 30 seconds and then laughed and laughed and now I refer to everything related to school as my "useless East Coast only degree program". It was funny, but honestly,the useless part is probably true. ANYWAY, over at Julia's blog (PLEASE don't make me link using HTML, I can't stand it here, if you really want to, cut and paste this: (http://julia.typepad.com/julia/} she asked for comments about where she should live and I was just floored and flabbergasted by the amount of people who said NC. No offense to this state, I guess, but it will never ever be home to me. You know how some places just fit you, fit the moment you get there and walk around? How the landscape just kinda twangs with your soul? I can tell you I have never ever looked at an NC landscape and had a soul twang. Many do, I am sure and certain. But life feels too short to not spend time in a place you love and here I am doing it, and will likely do again when I graduate, just to get a job. I kinda wish I HAD to live somewhere, just to stop with all the agonizing. Free will can be a right bitch.