First, the pleasant. We had an excellent, and at times harrowing trip to Philly-Baltimore-DC. I guess I would not necessarily recommend checking your kid in and out of 3 hotels in 4 days, it is SO much luggage and so hard to keep organized and clean. Plus, sleeping in the same room when she goes to bed at 7 pm is not pleasant. Knowing you can't go out after 7 pm in an interesting city is not pleasant. This is why we don't have cable - so it's actually exciting to be cloistered in a hotel room for an entire night, rather than out and exploring the city. But I liked Philadelphia - if you haven't been stuck in a smallish town for say, 18 months, you may not appreciate the sheer thrill of walking and proper sidewalks and public transportation and mixed use housing and Chinatown! We ate Thanksgiving Dinner at a Sezchuan restaurant and man, it was fantastic. The waiter asked at some point "No - turkey?" No sir! I wanted spicy spicy tofu and dried hot green beans. I also had the best salad I've ever had, seriously (thanks again Hungry Ghost - one day I will post an entry where I don't have to thank you) and some good art.
Baltimore was hard to visit without referencing The Wire every 2 seconds, like when we drove down some scary streets all boarded up with the spray painted "If trapped animal call 311" messages on them - and you could imagine nail gunned to death people boarded up inside. Down by the new renovated Waterfront area we could only think of Stringer Bell and his plan to turn legit through real estate investment and then out by the docks I was thinking of Beadie and how McNulty treated her so badly. It was fun and scrappy town, the way I like 'em. Excellent free museum and the most beautiful library too, the Peabody Library. In Washington, DC we got to see the much bally-hooed reopening of the American History Museum and me-hopes they are planning to do more - it felt sparse and weird and random. Oscar the Grouch next to the Puffy shirt from Seinfeld. Though it was pouring rain, we tramped over to the White House to feel another little flush of triumph as I posed outside. The funniest part was walking past the Treasury Department and seeing the personalized license plate "Pullin G's". I should have taken a picture, because Treasury Department guy? Your plate is outta date. We also got to go to Ikea which was magical for kid stuff - as there isn't one in this state AT ALL - and Nordstrom Rack as DITTO. I had a gift certificate and I got a grown-up coat, truly my first not from a thrift store. Oh and the BEST Ethiopian food in the USA is in Washington. man oh man.

The not so pleasant I will leave for another entry maybe, it's currently a knot in my chest, just the same old tangled snarl of lack of accomplishment, unloveableness, failure, guilt and stress. Some days I just wish I could wake up smarter, better organized and nicer and be done with it. The responsibility of being a parent has settled in nice n' heavy on my shoulders this week with the concept that I - poorly qualified I! - am responsible for another human being's holiday memories and traditions and like, life. This has apparently take 10.5 months to sink in. It's been one of those weeks (well, it is finals week too with harrowing presentations and school related horribleness) where if you look at me cross-eyed, I will well up with tears. Damn my completely transparent disposition and people asking me in concerned voices "how are you doing?" like my boss this morning. I would like a smidgen of perception control. I really would. I would also like a mentor, a good friend to talk with for hours in a restaurant booth by lamplight over beer, 12 hours of unbroken sleep, a better personality, the car not to be making scary expensive-sounding noises, NPR to stop talking about the damn doomed economy, and to just be grateful already, for kind husbands, warm houses and my kid. But a hug would go pretty far too, I tell you. Also, I am considering painting in ten feet high letters all around my house and on my bathroom mirror with lipstick FOLLOW THROUGH because that, my friends, is the A#1 source of all my troubles previous and current and future. So maybe I should start with that. hey I said I wasn't going to talk about it, but it looks like I never miss a chance to complain.