I kind of had a nervous breakdown this morning. At the airport. With my kid and two huge suitcases and a million frustrated travelers swarming behind me. At 5 in the morning. I'm still a little shaky, truth be told. But I've never had a flight of mine - especially such an anticipated, longed for flight - disappear, leaving me on the ground. And all because I'm a f8&%'ing idiot. No, it's true. My flight was from Raleigh to Toronto. And then Toronto to Edmonton to finally finally see my family and show them the baby. I looked up little details like passports for babies but found some legislation that said Canada and US were still working on an agreement and they had extended the laws that allowed you to just bring a birth certificate until next summer, because it had been such a huge clusterfuck. And none of my ticketing info said anything about a passport for a 5 month old. And I research this stuff, to within an inch of its life, yet somehow I really really screwed this one up. Get to the gate at 5 am and "No passport, no getting on the plane". We were on hold with the FAA for 1/2 an hour to come up with the same verdict. Flight missed, no flying with the baby. End of story. Passport offices don't open until 10 am so I can see about expediting but it seems to be about 5-10 business days anyway. What to do? Well it turns out I wasn't totally wrong - if you're crossing by land or water, then you don't need a passport until June 2009. But air - you do. I bawled for a good 1/2 hour and called my sister and did it all over again. We haven't seen each other in 18 months and to say we're looking forward to it is an understatement. And I was just - ready. But okay, we regroup. And do you want to hear my New and Improved totally Insane Trip Schedule? That I just threw together for tomorrow?

7 am - 1 hour flight to Washington.

3 hour layover

10 am - 2 hour flight to Buffalo

12 pm arrive in Buffalo

2:35 - board shuttle from Buffalo airport to Toronto's airport.

3-3/5 hours on that bus, including customs.

9 pm - get on flight to Edmonton

4 hour flight to Edmonton.

Hi, all of this with a 5 month old. I seriously want to kill myself but it's the only way, so we're doing it. I'm all about following the rules but honestly? Kids under 2 needing passports? You can't even add them to yours like you did once upon a time - nope, her own passport. Thank you Al Qaeda - between this and making me take my babies Roobeez off at security I'm of the humble opinion that you have WON.
Also, what do they think a 5 month old is going to DO anyway? Seriously.
But US and Canadian borders and paperwork? I've been non-stop dealing with you for 5 years now. And I just want to say how much I have hated every minute of it.
I still feel dizzy and must lie down.And rest up for the giant fuckfest that will be tomorrow. Pray for me just a little, won't you?