Instead of dwelling on the negative, which don't worry, I will likely vent soon enough (hint: it has to do with nourishing another human from your teats and electric devices used to extract said nourishment) I will count up the good. It's nice to do that on a Monday, isn't it?

1. I put on a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans this morning - and they fit! They did not fit last week. This isn't joyful for the reason you might think "oh jeez, I've been hating my pudgy pregnancy body" or anything - truth be told, I was hardly where I should or wanted to be BEFORE getting pregnant. It's not exciting so that my husband will like me again - he is rather clueless in the appearance department and has to be prodded to notice "hey look, I don't have a pot belly anymore". It's just plain nice to wear something without an elastic waist or that I don't have to hike up a dozen times an hour. Also, it makes me feel more like myself again, a regular person.

2. There is supposed to be a cold snap tonight but this afternoon the sun was out, the temp is in the high 60's and the sun is shining. I took my kid out to the backyard and we started some much needed yard maintenance. I've never been responsible for so much yard - it feels rather unmanageable much of the time. But today I took the rake by the horns and started clearing away months of leaf litter, branches, pecans and these peculiar little seed pods we call conkers. I made a little walkway out of a pile of leftover slate tiles that had just been tossed in the yard. I bought a few bird feeders, one for finches and one for southern songbirds like the cardinal, and actually got one of them filled and hung up. Daffodils are blooming randomly across the yard. We have plans to make a table out of the old fence section and we went browsing BBQ's this weekend - AH's fondest dream, to grill whenever he wants. It felt like a little preview of summer and how nice it will be to spend much of it either on the porch or in the yard.

3. I really think I'll get my drivers license next time I go for my test, which I've given myself the deadline of the end of March to take. I've been practicing a lot lately, all weekend we had to invent errands so I would have an excuse to drive, and I'm just a lot calmer and more in control than I ever have been behind the wheel. I knew I would be able to do this driving thing when I was forced to - and here I am in North Carolina, staring down the fact that if I ever want to do anything at all, I'm going to have to get there in a car. So, driving it is. Perhaps I'm being overconfident. But I'm not afraid to drive with my baby in the back seat and that is an encouraging sign I think.

4. Because of sleeping babies and nice weather, AH and I had several patio meals complete with good beer this weekend. It felt like normalcy at last, as we played cards and discussed our plans for the future. We love to plan for the future. Both of us are literally counting down the days until we can get back to the West Coast, hopefully Portland, and spend much time daydreaming about it. I will miss the sun, but is exciting to plan beyond this place, to realize we will get out of here eventually. Some days I really, really cannot wait. Most days. And boy are we on the same page on that issue.

5. I have small projects and plans and I'm starting to implement them, slowly, slowly.

The real me is on the comeback trail, I can feel it.