greetings. on a frosty cold day (we had snow! and a frozen pipe) it is nice to be holding a baby in your lap that kind of smells like cinnamon oatmeal raisin cookies. her nickname is squeaky because seriously, she squeaks when she wakes up. or eats. or yawns.
setting aside the massive rollercoaster of fleeing progesterone ( one day: i am invincible! i can and will do anything! next day: fits of crying as i read newspaper stories that make me wonder how i dared bring a new human into this world) we're settling into some kind of routine here. i don't want to jinx it but she has been having good nights - last night we were only up between 4-5am, feeding and changing. i've had hours of unbroken sleep in week one, which feels pretty lucky.
we've also survived three trips to the pediatrician for mandatory appointments and weigh-ins. only in america does the medical model require you to schlep your new baby multiple times to a germ filled office in pouring january rain before they are a week old, while warning you not to take them any other public place. they need some damn baby nurses in this country. my envy is not helped by the fact that I finally watched "sicko" this week. argh to free daycare in other countries!
but the biggest news to me is that i am the same person, pretty much. i am not a nervous wreck. i've read two books this week. i've cooked a bunch. i've got whole new levels of respect and love for AH. i feel up. i feel down. i still do the crossword every day. i have plans and i have hopes. for me and for her.