I began this semester with AH's clunky old laptop, willing to drive it into the ground before plunking down the money for a new one. But with one week to go, it's falling apart faster than I am - actually, we seem to be falling apart in tandem. In the last week the following things have happened:
colon key fell out
print screen key cracked in half
latch snapped
mouse touch pad right and left button stopped working (requiring me to plug in mouse to only USB port meaning I can't save items to flash drive)
and today-the kicker -space bar hardly working making typing very very hard (also forgive formatting of todays entry for this reason.)
One more week,I beg the machine. Please. This is all I ask of myself too. The final few assignments loom even though I did days of homework over Thanksgiving. Work is insanely busy as students rush to meet deadlines and take it out on me.
The baby thing has become unwieldy and
suddenly deeply uncomfortable, itchy and
back-achey and heart-burny. Also,I would like very much to get their room under control - I have no bedding, diapers, bassinet and only five outfits. There is no happy baby shower on the horizon for newcomer me which makes me feel sad for the baby already - alone from the beginning. Coming into this world without family or friends around. Oh dear, I've just made myself cry. So that and impending holiday To Do's is bubbling under my surface.
However, we did take a little time over T-giving. We cooked the full spread - for two, which again was a little sad -and it all came out beautifully. We watched old movies and held hands. And last minute style we headed up to DC. I wasn't expecting much but I was charmed.
A great deal on a beautiful hotel. Wide, walkable streets - we walked everywhere and I was so so happy to do that again. Dinners in tiny crowded candlelit restaurants where no stroller could ever go. Beautiful rowhouses and buildings. Wintery weather with warm drinks all bundled up. Free museums - hurrah! The chance to see the Edward Hopper retrospective and his dark lonely cityscapes and getting to hover in front of "Chop Suey" with his acid greens and pools of light. The old school "Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" vibe of the Natural History museum, gently nostalgic and low-tech. Cities. God, I love cities. It was sad to think of coming back, compounded by the 3 hour stop at Ikea on the way back - the only Ikea within 5 hours drive, putting all sorts of pressure on our buying decisions. Also sad to think of it as our last couple only trip in some time, maybe (please don't let it be) years...with our overloaded schedules, I find myself missing AH often and powerfully though I see him every day.I don't want it to become a chasm. I think I will miss the Him and Me Alone Together Against the World Time. All this bubbling under, typed out with great difficulty as time ticks down...